As I sit here in this cold gray dwelling, I am once again faced with the harsh reality of the system that I have been raised within, for the last thirteen years. This system better know as corrections in all respects is supposed to be about helping those that have lost their way along life’s path. The system is supposed to give them direction and understanding about where we went wrong, and how we can correct the errors of our past. The system is supposed to prepare and show us how to live once back in society, and be productive, law-abiding citizens once released. Instead the system would rather buy a television to baby-sit those in dire need of serious reformation. Society would be amazed at the amount of people that are incarcerated that do not have the basic elementary level skills of reading and writing.
Moral society has set the standard for the prices paid by those held captive within the walls of moral shortcomings. In a system that is supposed to be about structure, the only thing certain is the uncertainty. There are those that come to work in this environment that truly want to make a difference. These people realize that most incarcerated people will be released back into the community with the same mentality, and focus that guided them to prison in the first place. If they do not try to make a difference at this stage of the game, then they are not upholding the code of ethics they agreed upon as public servants. Unfortunately for the few that do believe that they are in this environment to make a difference. Their peers consume them and label them as weak or soft for the prisoners if they act in a manner that sets a positive example of self respect, because they do not want to have unhealthy prisoners released back into their neighborhood. Most employed within the department of corrections feel that it is their job to destroy the spirit of other human beings, to satisfy their personal prejudices, insecurities and sadistic personality traits.
Time and time again I am faced with the decision to try and make a difference, or turn the other cheek and walk away. To top it off I have to juggle between two sets of rules that govern the environment that I live in, one being the rules of a moral society, and the other being the convict code. I make decisions daily that are not popular in the world that I am forced to exist in, but I am all right with these choices when I know them to be just.
What makes these choices hard is when the system that is supposed to stand for truth and justice turns its back on you for making the proper decisions. It’s at these times that you sit back reflecting, and asking yourself why? Why must I always be a liar? Why must I always be guilty before innocent? Why will the system not do something about the cancer that is eating away at the moral fiber in their work force?
These are the people that are employed by the concerned citizen, and they are supposed to be our examples of societal norm. I truly believe that if these concerned citizens could see what they are getting for their money they would be greatly insulted, and disappointed. If these concerned citizens would be concerned enough to look within these walls, and see the actions of those they pay millions to employ as correctional officers, teachers, and counselors they would request a refund. The majority of the people that the system employs are far from those that are looking to reform, change, or positively guide the lives of the men, women, and today the alarming numbers of children that have fallen prey to the system.
I am not saying that all the people employed in the system are of the same mentality. There are those that work diligently to show that there is a better and brighter side to life, if you choose to strive for it. But for those few that want, and try to make a difference, the treatment they receive at the hands of their peers and even superiors is worse than that received by prisoners. Some of these courageous human beings strive to help alter the destructive courses that prisoner’s lives have taken, in the hope that when we are released there will be a new focus and direction that is law abiding, positive and productive to the community.
I used to just go along not caring about anyone, or anything until I read a book on a very wise man named Vernon Johns. There is a phrase in that book that changed my life, and even today I do not know why it hit me so hard, but I am thankful that it did. Mr. Johns said, “If you do not stand for something, you will die for nothing.”
Ever since that day in 1995 I have tried to stand on the moral fiber that carried me for 24 years of my life as a morally correct law abiding, productive citizen in the community. I can only hope that others will take notice, and join in to make a difference one-day at a time.
John Williams CCA/FCC 6-5-05